Monday, October 11, 2010

Trans Partners: Come Out , Come Out, Wherever You Are

Hey, lovers of trans people! Come out about your desires today for National Coming Out Day! Celebrate the beauty of trans bodies and souls, no matter their shape or size or color.

There’s not enough of us out.

Here’s an exercise I ask trans partners to do when they’re feeling isolated: imagine you are Professor Charles Xavier and you’ve got that fabulous helmet — except instead of finding mutants, it helps you find other partners of trans people.


Jude said...

Charles Xavier metaphor = for the win! Love ya HB!

Gina said...

There are a number of channels on YouTube for the partners of trans men.

All of these have multiple (non-trans) women who vlog on a weekly basis.

I've also seen a few women on YouTube talking about their relationship with a trans woman. What I don't see is acknowledgement, videos, anything by men who are involved with trans women. If one considers partners some part of the trans community, this gulf between trans men's partners (who are overwhelmingly out) and trans women's partners (especially male partners) who are overwhelmingly closeted, is yet another issue within the trans community.

helen_boyd said...

Gina, don't get me started. Esp in academia, or really anywhere, & mention my partner is trans, the automatic assumption is that I'm partnered to someone FTM spectrum.

So the conversation goes like so:
"She transitioned a few years ago."
"Don't you mean he?"
"Uh, no, she transitioned."
"So it's 'he' now."
"No, it's she. She's MTF trans..."
((((( big eyes + a beat ))))))))
and then... "so you're really straight."

at which point I sigh and explain.

Gina said...

Oh, I believe you both get a lot of bs.

Helen, i'm not sure how it is in your situation, but very often people even in the queer community typecast partners of trans people this way:

non-trans woman with a trans man partner =
queer/trans positive/ally

Straight man with a trans woman partner =
creepy/delusional that he's straight/fetishist

Honestly, I don't blame them for staying in the closet. Who needs that tsouris!

helen_boyd said...

exactly, Gina.

AJ said...


This is an "off-topic comment" and I apologize for that. Right now there is some pretty heavy hate spewing from a user amongst online blogging sites called "dirtywhiteboi." She is really topping the charts with poor information, a lot of stereotyping and other forms of typical hate towards the trans. community, esp. FTMS.

Such sites as:


She is not just using peoples actual FACE-images without permissions but really causing a stir. How can this be stopped? Any tips would be great. I've never run into something like this which makes it so hard to report and had action taken. I speak for so many wondering if we should petition or go with some sort of other group. Then again, it may feed her fire.

Gina said...

Joey, "dirtywhiteboi" has been spouting that line for years. She was on the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Forums saying much the same stuff (more against trans women than trans men). Lately she's focused her bile on FTMs. She's a troll. Trolls feed off of attention and getting a rise out of people. As I understand it, the images she uses of trans guys are mostly from YouTube... they're no longer private. Once you put your story/face out on the Internet it's no longer private.